Finding the Boyfriend Within Book + PRICE WATCH * Amazon pricing is not included in price watch

Finding the Boyfriend Within Book

Brad Gooch's take on the self-help genre is a self-described gay updating of Helen Gurley Brown's Sex and the Single Girl, and it's a sensible, straightforward--and welcome--addition to the field. Who is the Boyfriend Within? Simply put, he embodies "qualities we find attractive in ourselves but often imagine others to possess more fully, as well as ... dormant qualities we wish to nurture and grow." This growth process takes place through 16 "Awareness Exercises" that range from identifying the behavior patterns that might be keeping you from having a boyfriend to planning dates with your Boyfriend Within. (And before you crack any jokes, he really does mean dates--be they quiet evenings at home, neighborhood walks, shopping trips, or other activities.) Gooch's own inner boyfriend is a bit like a male version of Midge, the Barbara Bel Geddes character in Vertigo, a constant (but not flashy) source of "sanity, peace, happiness." But, he emphasizes, that's just his own--the love of your inner life may turn out to be completely different. The exercises in Finding the Boyfriend Within hold great promise for fostering self-knowledge and the cultivation of one's goals, not just in romance but in all aspects of life. --Ron Hogan Read More

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  • Product Description

    In the tradition of the perennial bestseller I'm OK, You're OK, noted author Brad Gooch offers single and coupled gay men a provocative, sophisticated, and inspirational guide that addresses the big issues of love, romance, and being alone. Part memoir, part self-help, Finding the Boyfriend Within is a remarkably practical and helpful guide in the quest for self-discovery for the thousands of gay men who despair of ever being in a committed relationship.

    "Why don't I have a boyfriend?"

    This was Brad Gooch's own question, which he'd frequently heard echoed by others in his many conversations with friends. Then one night he came home to his unkempt, empty apartment and paused for a moment to consider the clutter and casual chaos that filled his space. He imagined transforming it for a romantic encounter, and in an experiment, he cleaned the apartment, lit a candle, prepared himself a cup of warm milk, put on some soothing music, and drifted off to a deep and peaceful sleep. He was still alone, of course, but he had treated himself as though it was a special occasion. This was his first date with "the boyfriend within."

    Now he chronicles his courtship of the inner figure who is both our ideal lover and the self we must nurture and grow, to help us prepare for and sustain a real-life relationship. Filled with anecdotes, romantic advice, problem-solving suggestions, and humor -- as well as wisdom from both the East and West -- Finding the Boyfriend Within offers simple self-awareness exercises toward the respect, happiness, and love that come first, and most enduringly, from within. Chapters begin with a thought-provoking question whose answers will help readers discover their own boyfriend within: a daily touchstone that can help transform all friendships, love affairs, and long-term relationships. Gooch challenges the reader to get in touch with the inner self and to understand that in many ways our relationship to that inner self -- the boyfriend within -- is our primary relationship. By getting to know that boyfriend within, and by coming to understand his needs, then we are more likely to be a whole person, content within ourselves, and ultimately more receptive to finding an actual boyfriend.

    Finding the Boyfriend Within is sure to garner a positive response for any gay man who desires a sense of connection and commitment in these increasingly isolated times.

  • 0684850400
  • 9780684850405
  • Brad Gooch
  • 1 June 1999
  • Simon & Schuster
  • Hardcover (Book)
  • 176
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